That One Man That Hurt & Love You

It has been 1548 days after we getting married. But still, we don't know each other too well. I'm stuck, thinking on what is in his mind for real. He's insecure but denied it. Keep arguing over a simplest thing, i dont know & have no idea what had been messing around his mind. I knew he's struggling thinking on where can he get extra expences by middle of next month.

I think each day we kept getting misundertood. You easily get mad either its your fault or mine. Can you just be cool? And forget about those fussy mistake?? Huh. Im so tired even only thinking about waking up beside that one person i would never take for granted. 

If only you know, how much i love you, how much you mean to me and how much i can sacrifice my entire life just for you. You would never treat me like this. Thinking on what you have done to me, deep inside my heart said "ask him to divorce you!" But still there's somewhere space in my heart saying "its okay, be patient, take a deep breath, just give him a chance, be silence (coz messing things up will get it worst), ignore what he's been complaining about, think positively (he will definitely forget what he just said). At any second he will getting better & act like nothing happen. Brurhhh. Where on earth did i met you! 

Hati ini..Merintih..Meminta..Merayu..PadaMu

Hati ni
Hati yang satu banyak meminta dariNya
Yang banyak merintih padaNya
Yang banyak merayu padaNya
Yang banyak mengadu padaNya
Yang banyak meminta petunjuk dariNya
Yang banyak beristiqarah meminta restu dariNya

Hati ini seakan letih, lelah, sakit, derita
Hati ini pedih, lumat, lunyai
Hati ini kosong sekosongnya
Hati ini tercela dek kerananya

Terkadang hati ini seakan ingin terus mengalah
Tetapi dalam terkadang hadir suatu bisikan suara menahan tindak tandukku
Mendegilkan hati untuk tetap setia kepadanya
Tetap setia menantinya
Tetap setia sabar melayan anginnya

Hati ini punya rasa
Rasa untuk disayangi
Rasa untuk dimanja di belai didakap
Rasa untuk dimengerti diharga
Bukan dari insan lain
Tapi hanya darimu
Dari dirimu seorang
Tamakkah aku?

Aku
Berdiri sendiri saban hari
Terkadang tersenyum sendiri teringat memori lama
Terbayang saat indah tika dulu
Walau sebentar cuma menjadi penyeri
Tetapi bagiku cukup bererti
Teringat kata-katamu seolah melepas ku pergi
Terbang sendiri
Bersama sayap yang kau hadiahi
Tali yang kau ikat di hati
Adakah kau rasa aku mampu terbang tinggi?
Tanpa kau di sisi di samping diri ini?

Hati ini
Jiwa ini
Perlukanmu
Tapi hal itu
Tidak dapat kuungkapi
Bukan kerana sebuah ego
Tetapi
Kerana sekeping hati yang masih takut pada bayang-bayang sendiri.

Ramadhan dan Duty

Alhamdulillah. Sekembalinya post kali ni pada ramadhan yang barakah ini. Dalam hidupku kerap kali diuji dengan hubungan antara manusia. Sering sangat diuji dengan cinta sesama manusia. Ya Allah. Jadinya begini boleh jadi sebab tempat pergantungan padaNya jadi lemah. Bahagia yang aku sempat merasa walau sebentar cuma, aku bersyukur diperkenalkan dengan dirinya. Mungkin aku mudah jatuh suka pada seseorang, seseorang yang aku nantikan selama ini. Tapi hujan yang kusangka bertahan selamanya tapi berhenti dan renyai-renyai pula di pertengahan jalan. Aku tak tahu dimana silapku. Mungkin juga aku terlalu berterus terang dan tersilap langkah meluahkan rasa hatiku. Tapi aku lega sebab sekurang-kurangnya hati aku tenang 1dan seandainya aku dah takde atas dunia ni aku tak menyesal. (Ayat common kalau heartbreak).

Bahagia yang tak pernah kekal. Tapi doaku tak pernah putus. Pengharapan aku masih padaNya.

Bila Waktu

Alhamdulillah..umur dah menginjak ke angka 25..jangan ditanya soal jodoh dan cinta.

Bagiku ianya masih awal n byk lagi yang nakku kejar
Setelah pintu itu terkatup rapat
Rasa itu datang menerjah kembali
Ya, Takku sangka takku duga
Hendak aku khabarkan ke seluruh dunia
Jiwaku bergetar
Bergetar tatkala namamu terlintas di hati

Aku bukan insan yang sempurna
Pernah dilukai dan melukakan
Banyak yang aku tempuhi sebelum ini
Pengalaman yang mengajarku erti kehidupan sebenar
Bayangan masa depan yang indah
Yang digambarkan oleh guruku dulu
Ternyata hanya palsu
Kusangka begitu mudah mengharungi hari muka
Siapa sangka begini sukar jadinya
Moga Allah tabahkan hati kita

Men Are All Like That

Men are all like that, I wouldn't be any different
I valued you at first but then I flew away

Men are all like that, I wouldn't be any special
I had all of your heart but then I flew away
Men are all like that

It seemed like I could never catch your heart
But little by little, your heart became to come into my hands
Now I feel burdened when you say you can't live without me

I used to stay up all night
Worried that your heart would change
When I open my eyes
I called you to make sure of your voice
I used to hope that the moment would last forever

I held your hand tight, afraid that I might lose you if I let you go
I used to be sad when we said goodbye so I turned back multiple times

Now I walk ahead of you
When we talk, I don't look at your eyes
But it's not because I don't love you

Women are all like that, you wouldn't be any different
You know my heart but you hoped that I'd return
Women are all like that, you wouldn't be any special
You know it wasn't but hoped that I would be your last
Women are all like that

One Man

It must've been a long time
Long enough for these words to become colorless
Even if i just see your eyes
I know everything
Like your friend, like your shadow

We must've been together always
Wheb you're having hard time and you are sad
Eveb when you are lonely
Holding separation a bit longer
Even when i'm hurting to wipe a way your tears

There's a man
Who love you so much
There's a man
Who can't even say I love you
By your side i put my hand out and at a path where you can always reach me
I who cherish you more than myself, am with you

To make you laugh
I think of only that and
When and where ever you are
I'm always watching you and missing you
And who worries of only you

For the thousandth tine i swallow and again for ten thousandth time i try to set everything straight
I want to tell you
I think I'm going to insane but
I want to embrace you all at one
But..

There's a girl, who doesn't know I'm like this
Who receives love but doesn't even know that it is love
Leaving you, who is as foolish and I am sad
At this moment tears come but I'm happy
It's because you're by my side.

Terima Kasih Segalanya

Terima kasih
Ku ucap kepadamu
Kerana sudi menyayangi diriku
Semoga kita bersama dan setia

Aku bersyukur kepada Tuhan Yang Esa
Kerana Dia yang menemukan kita
Semoga kita mendapat Rahmat darinya

Hidup bahagia
Oh kasih
Indahnya ku rasakan
Sewaktu engkau ada bersama disisiku
Indahnya cintamu
Biarpun apa yang terjadi relaku tempuh
Asal kau tahu hargai pengorbananku ini
Terhadap dirimu

Sewaktu kau berduka aku ada disisi menemani
Sewaktu kau gembira jangan pula kau lupa diri ini
Andainya aku tiada
Abadikan cinta kita sepanjang hayatmu